Wednesday, February 02, 2005

millinerd's 4 step program

How to be a Christian musician:

STEP 1. Be a good musician. If you're not or don't have the drive or discipline to so become, do the Church and world a favor and find some other way to express your faith.

STEP 2. Write music lyrics that are true before they are "Christian." The latter will follow from the former. As Flannery O'Connor said, "Faith is the light by which we see, not a substitute for seeing."

STEP 3. When asked in an interview about your faith, respond with something like this:
INTERVIEWER:Although from your biography you’re obviously a committed Christian, it’s never been layered on thickly throughout your music – did you ever flinch from the idea of VOL being labelled a Christian rock band?

CHRISTIAN MUSICIAN: Yeah, I shudder to think every time it even comes up, and I usually tell journalists, look, you know, I am a Christian but the term has way too much baggage for a lot of people. There’s no doubt that the church has bruised people, hurt people and all that, so I usually try to distance myself from it. In terms of my beliefs, I really do believe Christ walked out of a tomb 2000 years ago, and it’s like, what’s so strange about that? Millions of people believe that, so let’s talk about the songs. It’s the reason why I get out of bed in the morning, but it’s not an agenda. When I stand on stage, I’m not about making you believe the way I believe. I think there’s enough beauty and truth properly understood in the Christian faith for it to be life affirming for every single person in this bar tonight, every single person... It’s about taking a risk, stepping outside of our skins, loving other people, accepting where they’re at and trying to build a better world. -Bill Mallonnee
STEP 4. If your fan turn-out one night happens to be Christian enough that no one buys alcohol at the bar, respond somewhat like this:
Writes another interviewer, "Mallonee's tried and true religious fan-base are not what you would call great customers. "I offered the bartender $70 tonight," admits Mallonee as we wait for our early morning breakfasts in the Denny's after the band has loaded out. "I know the bar was dry as a bone. She wouldn't take it, but I feel real self-conscious about it."